Serena Robar and GIVING UP THE V

Today we have a very special treat, an interview with Serena Robar, whose hotly anticipated GIVING UP THE V is out now from Simon Pulse. As you can see from the interview, it’s a topic near and dear to my heart, and I enjoyed getting into the nitty gritty of the theme.

And, both Serena and I will be giving away copies of GIVING UP THE V to lucky readers. To enter the giveaway, leave a comment at the end of this blog post.

Hi, Serena! Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by the blog and talk about your new book, Giving Up the V. I have been excited about this book ever since you announced the adorable title. Can you tell us what inspired this story for you?

If Judd Apatow (40 Year Virgin) reimaged a Judy Blume novel, that would be Giving Up the V.  It’s a candid view of high school today and how kids discuss sex and the peer pressure associated with making the decision to go all the way, mixed with a sweet message.

I think the story is ageless.  It goes hand in hand with growing up.  Your first time is considered by many, to be a landmark decision and I look at both sides in Giving Up the V.  Spencer Davis is a normal girl who, on her 16^th birthday is given a very untraditional present by her forward thinking mother. She gets her first gynecologist visit and a prescription for the pill. Even though she is nowhere near ready to Give up the V.  Now that Spencer has the Pill, her friends become obsessed with her first time. Her best friend Alyssa thinks she should just pick someone and ‘get it over with’, while her male friends offer to service her themselves, but Spencer isn’t fixated with sex like her friends seem to be, that is, until the new boy in school takes an interest in her.  Suddenly she starts to see what all the fuss is about, but she can’t decide if Ben is V-worthy.

The inspiration for the story came when I was sitting in the doctor’s office for my yearly GYN visit. A harried, fifty-something male doctor was talking to the young female receptionist. He asked her what “Giving up the V” meant. It seemed his last patient was a teen girl who was there because her mother wanted her on the Pill, but she told the doctor she wasn’t ready to give up the V yet.  I knew instantly I had to tell that story.  I had to explore the reverse peer pressure of a girl who wasn’t obsessed with sex when even her mother seemed on the pro-sex bandwagon.

That’s fascinating. As the daughter of an OB/GYN, I can completely picture that scenario!

As you may know, I also have a YA novel coming out this summer with a focus on the topic of female virginity and how it is viewed in modern times — albeit from a fantasy perspective. I am fascinated by the many ways modern society is still obsessed with virginity — from purity balls to “re-virginization” surgeries. And of course, the double standard! In what way did urban legends and social mores about virginity influence your writing?

The fascination with virginity is complex because opinion is deeply influenced by so many factors (Social, religious, personal, etc).  The right time for one person is not necessarily the right time for another.  I wanted to explore that theme in Giving Up the V.  You see the double standard alive and well in Ryan, Spencer’s promiscuous male friend.  Since sex means a different level of intimacy to different people, I wanted to drive that point home.  Ryan sleeps around and doesn’t think there is anything wrong with his behavior because he assumes the girl knows the score, which we discover is rarely the case.

My mother was raised in a strict Catholic household and attended Catholic school.  It was ingrained that you waited to have sex until you were married or you would go to hell.  Since we weren’t church goers, when it came to my sex talk, she told me that I shouldn’t have sex until I was married. Period. End of discussion.  I couldn’t understand that line of thinking.  Why wasn’t sex okay in a committed relationship? Why did I have to be married? And because she wouldn’t discuss the possibility of pre-marital sex (probably thinking any discussion about it meant she was condoning the decision-which she did not), she wasn’t guiding me. I had questions and she wasn’t answering them. So I asked my friends and made my decisions based on that information.

The physical act itself isn’t much of a mystery with the wealth of information available on the internet, it’s the psychological and emotional impact that confounds. I wanted to write a story that answered the questions I had as a teen. The thing I was totally unprepared for was the emotional impact of sex, especially the first time. The vulnerability, insecurity and high emotions that converge. Giving Up the V explores all of that in a humorous and honest way.

I can relate to that. Spencer, your main character, seems like a really grounded young woman, especially in the face of some of the sexual-status obsession of her friends. She’s more interested in other aspects of her life, and wants to wait for the right time. I must admit that she reminds me a little of myself at her age. Whenever the topic of my sexual non-activity came up, what seemed like a non-issue to me (I’d also never traveled to Egypt or gone sky-diving) was a mystery with some of my friends. For them, there had to be a “reason” I was “saving myself” — some kind of grand religious or cultural tradition I was following. It was a topic I wanted to explore with Astrid’s story in RAMPANT, and I was surprised, while writing, to receive the same critiques from adults that I once got in the high school cafeterias! Do you think teens like Spencer, Astrid, and my teenage self deal with a different type of peer pressure? Can you talk a bit about why some justifications are viewed as more valid — and why people think they even have the right to ask!

This theme is explored in the relationship between Spencer and her best friend Alyssa (who is also a virgin).  Spencer believes her first time should be with someone she loves and has a relationship with however, Alyssa doesn’t think the first time is a big deal and, in fact, considers her virginity a nuisance. She believes sex for the first time will be embarrassing and painful so she wants to pick a random guy to relieve her of her virginity so when she has sex with a guy she loves, it will be a happier memory.  Two completely opposite views on virginity and both are analyzed in Giving Up the V.

The teen sex debate in the media seems to center around a false dichotomy of puritannical “abstinence only” vs. panic about the “hook up” culture. A book like GIVING UP THE V argues what I find a far more sensible path: that teens can make responsible sexual decisions, including the decision NOT to have sex.

Congratulations, by the way, on your Publisher’s Weekly review, whose praise includes: “this novel stands out for its thorough, no-holds-barred discussion of sex in its many forms—from the ugly to the beautiful.” I think a book like yours comes in the tradition of Judy Blume’s FOREVER and similar stories — not prurient, not scare tactics, just honest. What are your thoughts on this and what do you hope readers come away with after reading GIVING UP THE V?

In my opinion, Spencer is a very typical teen.  She has her opinion on sex. She believes that it’s okay in a committed relationship, but she’s never had a serious relationship.  She doesn’t believe her first serious relationship has to be about going all the way.  There are so many firsts for Spencer and she is savvy enough to see that rushing into every first at once might not be such a great idea. She discovers passion and desire which cloud her decision making process and she knows that. To say all teens fall into either of the two extreme camps isn’t fair or reasonable.  Teens aren’t stupid and it bothers me when media and ‘experts’ discuss them like they have no decision making skills. Most think about sex, its ramifications, if they are prepared and if now is the right time. But the majority isn’t news worthy. It’s the minority that sells stories with shocking revelations of seedy sexual encounters, and that’s who gets the focus. It doesn’t seem fair and hope readers walk away entertained, satisfied and perhaps a bit more savvy than they were before they started reading.  It’s the perfect ice breaker to open a dialogue about teen sex.  I’d love to see both teens and parents reading it.

Hi, guys. Diana again. Remember to leave a comment here to enter into the GIVING UP THE V giveaway! And, head on over to Serena’s site because today she’s giving away a copy of TAP & GOWN to anyone who signs up for her newsletter! (There’s a book-a-day giveaway going on over there this month. Don’t miss out!)

And if you’re in the Tampa Bay area, don’t forget to stop by the big booksigning this Saturday at the Borders on Dale Mabry from 2-4. For more info on the signing (and who will be there, other than moi), check out the Events page.