P.C. overload

So a few weeks ago, I heard a story from a friend that really got me hot under the collar. My friend is a lawyer. She is also a Catholic. Shortly after the election/assigning/what-have-you of the new pope, she was in her cubicle, having a discussion about why they picked this German cardinal rather than, say, a priest from the Americas or Africa. Her exact words were, “I don’t think the church is ready for an African pope.” This was a statement about the church’s conservatism, natch. It’s a statement about geography. Race isn’t even on the page. She had said earlier the same thing about having an American pope.

Well, someone overheard — part of what she said? All of what she said? — and freaked the hell out, went to the H.R. department, and told them that my friend was a racist who said there should never be a black president. My friend was dragged into the H.R. department, threatened with firing and forced to publicly apologize to the woman for saying something she never would ever dream of saying (and would never think either, since honestly, this gal would be the campaign manager of Condie for Prez ’08 — which is another terrifying issue, but since it has nothing to do with the subject of race, let’s leave it alone for today, shall we?).

Excuse me, but WTF? I’m all for sensitivity training, but when it means that a whole continent is cut out of people’s vocabularies for fear of it being taken the wrong way by someone who is eavesdropping then we’ve got a problem.

I was reminded of this story today, because it almost just happened to me. I was talking to a coworker about some of the faults I see in the Harry Potter series. Now, I love Harry Potter (unlike certain editors I know), but there are some things that bug me. One is the deus-ex-machina plotlines. Just once, I’d like to see Harry take charge of his own destiny. Another is the fact that EVERYONE in Slytherin is bad. Seriously, they should just chuck every kid who gets Sorted into Slytherin into Azkaban straight off. You know they’re going to go bad. I would really like Rowling to write a good Slytherin. A good, LIVE Slytherin. And this is where the conversation was going, because I was talking about that dead portrait headmaster from the last book, and how he’d been in Slytherin. And then I said, “Actually, all the Blacks were in Slytherin.” And before I even could finish the sentence with “Until Sirius,” her mouth had dropped open. Now, granted, as soon as I *did* finish the sentence, she knew what I was talking about, but what would have been a more innocuous way to say that? “All the people from the Black family were in Slytherin?” If I was talking about the Potters, or the Weasleys, or the Malfoys, I would have just added an S to the name and been done with it.

So I’ve spent the rest of the afternoon wondering how many other words, phrases and grammatical constructions I need to cut from my vocabulary lest anyone think I’m saying something that a) I’m not and b) can be construed as racist. I’m a writer, and am fascinated with the power of words and word combinations. I would hate for anyone to mistake me, in any way. I would also hate if I could not refer to a family by their family name, too…

Anyone watch the Dave Chappelle show? He’s got a fabulous bit about a family with a very unfortunate name. Never fails to crack me up. But at the same time, I wonder, at what point does our sensitivity to words go too far? Come on, people, Harry Potter?