Room for Panic

I’m having a panic attack. I don’t know that I’ve ever had one before, but as it turns out, they are unmistakeable.

My heart is pounding. Hard. Fast. So hard I can actually feel it through my skin. I t feels as if, were I to look down, I could see it slamming against my breastplate. I’m a little afraid to look down. I can’t breathe. I mean, I can, but not in a nice yoga way. Short choppy little breaths. Someone find me a paper bag! My adrenaline is on hair trigger. For the past few hours, I feel it shooting through me at the slightest provocation. And you know what repeated bouts of adrenaline give you? One hell of a headache. My head. Oooh, my head.

There are tingles going up and down my arms. I think this might have something to do with the adrenaline. I feel too big for my skin, jumpy, restive, fatigued, uneasy. My teeth hurt from grinding them. I’m sweating, but I feel cold. I can’t sleep. I can’t concentrate. My chest hurts.

I spent the last three days vacationing and cleaning and I feel less rested and orderly than when I started.

But it wasn’t until the evening, after a perfectly wonderful dinner of Raspberry Chicken Explosion, beer and hanging out with friends (post alcohol yet!) that I had this awful, debilitating panic attack. Over NOTHING! The fact that it managed to come even in the midst of all of my mellow bodes ill for my stress levels.

On July 6th I’ll start the countdown to Secret Society Girl, during which there will be a ton of great prizes. And then I’ll be back at some undetermined time in the future with more Diversions.

In the meantime, if you just can’t live without my pearls of wisdom ::snerk:: then visit Kelly Parra, who is featuring me on her Words of an Author site. I’ll be back soon.

Once I can breathe.