A Formal Complaint


Hello. My name is Rio Peterfreund-[Redacted], also known as Rio McBeo, Ree-bot, Puppy-uppy-uppy, and, since last week, “Hrree-aah!” (according to the one you know as Q).

Speaking of the one you know as Q and I know as “that crying thing I’ve finally forgiven Mommy for bringing home last fall because now she is finally interesting, given the way she likes to drop cheerios over the side of her high chair”, we get along great. Check it out:

Yes, I know this picture is a few months old, but look at the more recent variety:

Luckily, Q has finally figured out “Pet nice” and so I am willing to get near her again. (Well, the constant stream of dropped cheerios helps, too.) There was also that week or so that she thought my food and water dishes were the most fascinating things in the universe. You should have seen me standing there whining while she got into my kibble. I’m not sure why Mommy said I was such a good girl after that little episode. Usually she doesn’t like it when I whine, but I guess that it was preferable to me trying to take the kibble out of Q’s hands myself (Mommy didn’t even have an easy time of it.)

Anyway, I’m not here to talk about Q. (She’s all anyone ever talks about around here anymore.) I’m here to issue a formal complaint about the weather.

I’VE HAD IT.

Look, I love to swim. I don’t mind getting wet. But two weeks of rain? Come on, guys. I haven’t been on a proper walk in days. My favorite trail down at Rock Creek Park is completely underwater. Mommy and Daddy even planned a big Labor Day hike at Great Falls that got rained out. It’s dark and boring in my house and I’m not a huge fan of getting rained on, so I haven’t even been doing my usual exploring-the-backyard thing. I’m going stir crazy in here. Mommy’s at her dumb computer all day and Q left toys all over the floor that I’m not allowed to chew on and it’s so cool out that they turned of the A/C so now I don’t even have the simple pleasure of napping on the vents.

SIMPLE. PLEASURES. I don’t ask for much, world. But can’t I get a break in the rain so I can go chase a ball or two?

Bored now.

Posted in Rio

5 Responses to A Formal Complaint

  1. Sarah Weiss says:

    *this post is being written by my human, Sarah, since my toenails are too long to type accurately*

    My name is Poodle and I just had to write to you Rio. I too have been suffering children and crappy weather. I live with two children who insist on carrying me like a baby, dressing me up, and even stole my bed for their babydolls. Unfortunately, mine are not little enough to drop food anymore, however, they are not smart enough to realize that if they leave their plate unattended I WILL steal their corndogs.
    As for the weather, we have had NO RAIN for a while now. So I’m writing to ask you to send your rain my way, and then we will both be happy. Thank you! (And give the child time! You will get better things than cheerios soon enough!)

  2. Sarah Weiss says:

    P.S. If you haven’t learned already, don’t eat the tube of white stuff that your mom puts on the child’s backside. It tastes horrible!!

  3. Rio says:

    Ah, Poodle, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree with you there. You see, my mommy uses Burt’s Bees brand bottom cream, and it has menthol in it, and I will do ANYTHING for Menthol. In fact, when I was a puppy, the only thing I ever ate that I wasn’t supposed to was a tube of mommy’s mentholated chapstick and then once a pack of gum (that really scared mommy because it had xylitol in it that can apparently make dogs like us sick). Anyway, whenever that stuff winds up on Q’s bottom, I follow her around sniffing her butt.

    I will gladly trade you some rain for some corndogs.

  4. Virginia says:

    Hi Rio, my name is Kendra and I totally agree that we should all file formal complaints about the weather! All summer long my mommy has been telling me it’s too hot to go for walks. She kept saying “Honey, it’s over 100 degrees by 9am. We have to wait until the sun sets” (neither one of us are early risers). And what happens now that the temperatures have finally broken? Texoma goes up in flames! So until The Powers That Be realize they gave us all your sunshine and you all our rain know that you aren’t the only puppy stuck inside and bored.

    *Like Poodle, I had to have my mommy type this up for me. I don’t have as much practice typing as you do.*

  5. Kendra says:

    Hi Rio, It’s Kendra again. Mommy and Daddy are currently watching the Redskins/Giants game on TV. While I’m not a big football fan (the ball is too big in that game, unlike in tennis… now there’s a ball a girl can catch), I do like when Mommy jumps up to sing “Hail to the Redskins” and dances around the living room with me. As we wait for a touch down I noticed that the sun in shining on FedEx Field. It appears your formal complaint was heard and taken care of. I hope you get to enjoy the sunshine while it’s making an appearance. 🙂