Before I vanish…

For the weekend, I wanted to post a few tiny updates, for the enjoyment of certain Nebraska residents and readers of this blog (you know who you are, E).

First of all, here are some pictures from my fabulous trip to Connecticut:
Here I am with my lovely co-presenter, critique partner, and activity chair, Marley Gibson:
Here I am, looking rather shifty, as I retrieve and begin to sign books in Stamford’s picturesque Borders Bookstore, where we were assisted by the wonderful Tatiana. I must say that I think I’ve got a definite femme fatale air going on in this shot. I don’t know if it’s my new fall coat (scarlet, like the color of passion! of blood!) or the mysterious expression on my face.

Hmmmm…

Here I am with CoLoNY’s own Heather, who as an employee of Yale, has told me that my fictional Eli University campus bears an uncanny resemblance to her place of work. Curious. Truly:
Pictures of me getting my massage redacted. This is a family blog!

Okay. Also, I wanted to point out to all the aspiring writers out there, that, in case there was ever any doubt: it is never, ever, ever, not once, not even a little bit, no matter what they may call it (be it a retainer, a reading fee, a marketing fee, whatever), okay for an agent to charge you a fee. Ever. Not even if it’s a small amount of money. Not even if they say it’s not okay to charge fees, and then do it anyway. Not even if they say that I and everyone else whow says “no fees” is a big fat liar and that every agent charges fees. Never. Ever. Ever. Agents make money by taking a percentage of the money they make YOU. Which means they don’t make a cent until you do. Always. Always. Always. These people are scam artists. They are liars, and the lies they tell are especially manipulative, since they wrap them up in truths. They are truthful about one part of an agent’s job, but it is only a small part. They make fraudulent statements such as “may make as much as $5,000.” This is not true. 5k is damn low end for an agented deal. Here’s a discussion on this same subject from my own agent. (Who, I must add, never charged me a cent, got me much more money than 5k, and does a lot more work for me than that described in in the website.) This is who these so-called “agents” really are. And as for the final accusations of these scam artists:

Websites such as SFWA, Writers’ [sic] Beware, Predators & Editors [sic], along with associated blogs and chatrooms/forums are operated and monitored by people who…have an agenda…and it isn’t to protect you. Their agenda is to destroy the reputations, and therefore, the business of independent agents. They do not do this out of the kindness of their hearts, or because they truly care about you, the writer. They do this for a reason!

Uh-huh. And, um, what would this reason be? That’s the part that they don’t seem to be too clear on. The agenda of industry watchdog groups is to protect writers from scam artists. If in doing so, teh scam artists are put out of business? Well then. Writer Beware responds here.

I am posting about this because refutation of such complete crapola cannot be emphasized enough. I know that people come here for writing and industry advice. I feel that this information should get out there. It should never be a question in people’s minds. Everyone should know that agents who charge fees are never kosher.