Rules to conference by

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Everyone is gearing up for the Romance Writers of America National Conference in Reno, Nevada, which starts on July 27th. I’m beyond excited myself, as this is my first wiritng conference since I’ve sold my novel. First sale- attendees get to wear pink ribbons on their conference badges. If I have any time after all that ;-), partying, some workshops, etc.

A few months ago, I posted on how surprised I was how freaked out people were getting over the conference. And I really was. I thought they were definitely making a mountain out of a molehill. However, for the past few weeks, I have been participating on an RWA sponsored loop where people are preparing for the Reno conference, and realized that the posts I saw on eHarlequin were merely the tip of the iceberg. For some reasons, writers get really, REALLY nervous about these things. I’ve seen people stressing out about the stock in the hotel lobby convenient store, not being able to sleep unless they had a precise list of every possible permutation of taxi fare from the hotel to any point in Reno (for each company, mind you), and SEVERAL conference goers unsure of whether or not they were invited to conference events. (Oddly enough, thse same people, who thought they couldn’t go to the RITA awards without an invite, thought nothing of crashing publisher parties.)

And now I feel bad. I’m not a particularly shy person, and I’ve traveled enough to get acclimated to new circumstances relatively quickly, but I realize that a lot of people are introverts who may not have spent much time away from home. My heart goes out to these people, especially those that come to the conference without a group of friends to hang out with. My friend Marianne Mancusi says she was overwhelmed by the sheer numbers of writers at her first RWA conference (and she had lots of buddies and an agent already!), and another friend revealed that she always breaks down and cries in the middle, even if she’s a) agented b) sold, and c) up for a RITA.

On another list, officials are formulating lists of rules to hand out to invitees of a party. Let me repeat that — OF A PARTY. My first reaction was that it was a ridiculous notion. Are RWA members so socially inept that they aren’t capable of understanding basic etiquette without a DO and DON’T list? Quite frankly, I think that the people who aren’t won’t magically become so with the help of a rule list. But maybe, as with the conference concerns, I’m not thinking of people who might have been told by some misguided soul to carry their manuscript wherever they go. There’s a ton of misinformation out there.

So, here’s my handy dandy rule list, for newcomers, people who may be unsure of themselves, or anyone who is feeling the Conference Jitters:

1. Do not, under any circumstances, bring your manuscript to conference events. Offering it to editors and agents is beyond a faux pas. If you want to know why, just apply Kantian Universality. Imagine if everyone handed out their manuscripts. The editors would be buried under a mountain of copy paper!

2. Do not interrupt editors and agents (or authors) who are deep in business conversations. And, if you happen to hook up with an editor or agent on the fly, don’t immediately bombard them with your pitch, and, don’t hold them hostage.

3. Do not crash invite-only events. That’s just tacky. If you’re unsure about which events you’re invited to, look in your registration packet. There’s a list. Also, you are invited to all publisher signings.

4. Relax. No meeting, no pitch session, no accidentally dropped pat of butter, is going to make or break your writing career.

5. If you are scared, or nervous, or lonely (or none of the above!), and you see me, come up and say hi. Tell me about your story. Tell me about your awful editor or agent appointment (or how wonderful it was). Ask me if you can practice your pitch. Despite any rants you may have seen on this blog, I’ve been told that I’m actually very friendly. And I want to meet you, I promise! I just don’t always know if you want to meet me when I see you, so that’s why I may not be approaching you. But I’m telling you right now, that I *do* want to meet you. If I’m at the bar, and I’m with a group, it’s not a business meeting. Come say hi. PLEASE.

All right. See you in Reno! ( I mean it!)