New Year’s Resolutions

Tomorrow I’ll be 27, which is a cube birthday, and the last one I’m going to have until I’m 64. Better take advantage of that while I can. Sailor Boy is trying to think of as many cube-shaped foods as possible to serve at the party. So far we’ve got brownies cut into cubes and cheese cut into cubes, salad with croutons and some drink with ice cubes. We decided that Swedish meatcubes might be a bit hard to swing. So if you have any ideas, let us know!

(It might be a very subtle theme.)

Anyhoo, as I am wont to do, I saved up my New Year’s resolutions for my birthday, because that is when I really feel like the year has started. New Year’s is such an arbitrary date. My birthday is not (to me at least). So this is always an interesting time for me to sit down and take stock of myself, and think about what I want. I only got to be 26 once, and it was damn good. TOTALLY made up for the shite that was most of 25. So, as my friend from work said to me today, how in the world am I going to get 27 to top it?

A nice segue into the real topic of this blogpost, which is competition. I possess a disturbing tendency to compare myself, either consciously or subconsciously, to everyone else. (not someone else. Everyone else.) Naturally, in these comparisons, I come up lacking, because there’s always someone younger, richer, smarter, prettier, healthier, faster, more accomplished, more talented, a better harmonica player, with better hair, and better arches, who speaks more languages, has sculpted more monumental works of art, found more subatomic particles, discovered more cures for cancer, and has been to the moon more times than me. Always. I haven’t been to the moon at all. Not even once.

But that knowledge doesn’t stop me from falling into this death spiral wherein I mentally list the things other people have done that I haven’t done, and then wonder mournfully how come they can do all of those things and ALSO accomplish the things I have accomplished that I’m especially proud of? If I’m any good at all, how come I haven’t done what I’ve done AND what they’ve done as well? They can do it. They can go to the moon and cure cancer and write a novel. Apparently I can only write a novel. Wah.

My resolution for my 28th year on this planet is to stop doing that. To stop indulging in these periods of negative energy that don’t do anyone any good, to stop trying to measure unmeasurable things, or compare apples to oranges, or forget huge swaths of my life because I’m busy focusing on someone else’s C.V.

Basically, to count my blessings instead of the other way around.

Tangent: One of my favorite lines from The West Wing is, “Half-full, half-empty, at least we can agree that the glass isn’t full!”

I’m going to stop dwelling on the things I don’t do, won’t do and haven’t done, and start focusing on the things I have done, am doing and intend to do. I’m not going to think about ways to “top” anyone, or even to “top” 26. I’m going to think about ways to make 27 as wonderful as it can be. I think the “growth” bit that encompasses all the other, minor resolutions will be a natural extension of that. So that’s my plan, and my resolution, and my main goal. And I think if I can accomplish that, then my glass will be so much closer to being full, and so much farther away from being empty.

Oh, that reminds me. Also, I resolve to drink more water. 🙂