Romance and Choices

A busy day here, which is why this blog is so late. Woke up this morning to find out that my adorable, perfect puppy has graduated into the full throes of adolescence. I was out the door at 7 a.m. this morning, by which time, she had already:

• peed on the floor, which she hasn’t done in months! (In point of fact, she peed on my favorite Yale shirt, which, to be fair, I left on the floor, but still!)
• eaten one of Sailor Boy’s socks
• jumped on Sailor Mom’s head
• squeezed herself underneath the fence and run out into the street

And when we told her to “come” she sat there and blinked at us, which I believe is the adolescent puppy equivalent of rolling her eyes. The vet warned us this would happen, but I didn’t believe her. Not my Rio! Not the pride and joy of her puppy school class!

Oh crap, brb. She’s eating my slipper.

What? I’m, like, totally obedient, Mom! Whatever. It’s so unfair!

And this just before my folks come to town, too, toting their perfect one year old sheepdog. I was hoping to impress them with my well-behaved pup. Instead I will try to impress them by restraining myself from throttling her.

Bleh.

So anyway, was up in Annapolis today. I love it there. So pretty! We ate lunch down by the pier. Oysters and crab and flounder and shrimp. Yum! Almost made me forget how mad I am at Rio.

In other news, I saw a fascinating blog post the other day at Curiosity Shop, about the theme of choices/romance/feminism in a lot of YA literature. Martha writes:

“[It] is an underlying theme in a lot of teen books, since it’s a big teen concern–choosing who to be, how to live life, how to be independent. But my fall reading has very much been about characters whose main conflict is the choice between being true to themselves, following their dream or passion or being in love. I’m so glad that there are these books for teen out there. They are important, because they show that it’s not all about the boy (or girl, if the protagonist is a boy).”

This is a theme that very much concerns me, too, and has been a central issue in almost every book I write. It is, in fact, a central issue in most romance novels, especially the ones I really like. The difference is that the genre constrictions of modern (by which I mean “shelved in bookstores as”) romance novels requires what the romance folks call “a happy ending,” by which they mean that the two central characters “end up together.”

Which in turn requires romance novels (well, at leas thet kind I like) being written so that being with the boy is also the way in which the character is most true to herself/ or she can be with boy AND achieve her goal (or same, genders reversed).

The other day, I was watching You’ve Got Mail, and it occurred to me (in a way it did not when I watched the movie as a teenager), that the reason for the long interlude between the closing of Meg Ryan’s store and the happy romantic ending was so that the audience could realize that Meg’s life was not over because she failed in her stated goal of keeping her mother’s store open. That sometimes, your life takes a path different from what you expect, and you are thwarted in one direction, but you grow from that experience and find new happiness. Meg did in fact lose her little store (hope that’s not a spoiler for anyone) but all her former employees became star salesmen at the big box superstore and Meg herself is first offered a job as an editor and decides eventually to write books (and you see that she has a flair for writing from the very start). Also, she gets to keep her stunning apartment that New Yorkers only live in in the movies. Score.

If she lost her store, was crushed by Tom Hanks, and then went off into the sunset with him right away, there would always be this part of you going “What? You can’t be with him! He ruined your life!” For me, the happy ending is not necessarily the romantic one. I like it when the girl (or boy) saves herself (or himself) and then gets the boy (or girl, or boy, or vampire, or etc.) Happy romantic ending without happy “other goal” ending is not satisfying to me, though happy “other goal” ending without happy romantic one works for me just fine. (cf. Casablanca, which a very good, NYT bestselling romance writing friend tells me she will never watch because she heard it “didn’t have a happy ending.”

This is why I don’t write “shelved in bookstores as” romance novels. Because my books don’t necessarily end with the girl getting the guy, though they do end (so far) with the girl getting what it is that she wants. And sometimes, that involves NOT getting the guy (as in Under the Rose).

I’ve been seeing a lot of reactions to Graceling (one of my fave books of the year) that show dissatisfaction with the romantic ending of the book (I’m really not going to spoil it for you). I’m not sure why. Maybe my standard for “happy romantic ending” differs from other people’s, as I know my standard for “happy ending” differs from a lot of romance readers. The romance in that book really worked for me, not least because the dude’s name was Po. But, again, I think that Rick had it right in Casablanca: Sometimes the problems of the world are much bigger than two crazy kids, and sometimes, love doesn’t work out, and sometimes that’s a good thing. It’s not a tragic ending a’la Nicholas Sparks. It’s great.

The most common question I get about the secret society series (after “Were you ever in a secret society?”) is “Who is Amy going to end up with?” My response is “Why do you think she is going to end up with anyone?” Amy is 22 years old at the end of the series. She just graduated from college. I may have been dating my eventual husband at that time, but I sure as heck didn’t think I was, and I bet the vast majority of people in Amy’s situation are not going to marry their college sweethearts.*

Whether or not she “ends up with” someone (in the immediate sense of “is she in a relationship on the last page of the last book”) was not, to own the truth, soemthing I thought about too much as I was planning the series. I was more interested in where Amy “ended up with” regarding herself and the society.

I guess this is rather rambling, My general point is yes, I’ve read all the book that Martha is discussing, and I loved the way the romantic themes were handled in each one, and it’s something I think about a lot in my own work, so great post, Curiosity Shop!

Oh, and in honor of said post, today’s giveaway is ALANNA: THE FIRST ADVENTURE, which is the first in the Song of the Lioness Quartet, by Tamora Pierce. I love this series, though I totally read it out of order. After I told someone I was calling the killer unicorn book RAMPANT, they said to me, “Oh, like Tamora Pierce’s book?” So I rushed out to get hers (It’s actually called LIONESS RAMPANT, which was even more terrifying to me, since “lioness” also plays a major part in my book) to make sure that I hadn’t written in ground already covered, and then I was like, “Um, where have these books been all my life, and how come no one, knowing my vast love of Eowyn and Aravis and all things warrior-woman esque, has told me about them before?

So, in case you, too, love strong women and non-traditional romantic stories and have not heard of this series, comment here to enter. You shall thank me later.

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* Though now that I’ve said this, I realize that my mother, my  brother, my best friend, and two of Sailor Boy’s best friends are married to their college sweethearts.